Let’s be honest, most of us go to networking events with the best intentions and leave with a pocket full of business cards we’ll never look at again. We show up because we know we’re “supposed to network,” then spend the whole time either glued to our phones or making awkward small talk about the weather.
But here’s the thing: the problem isn’t the event. It’s how we’re showing up.
After decades in sales leadership and coaching professional service firms, I’ve watched talented people leave valuable relationships on the table — not because they lacked skill, but because they lacked a simple, intentional approach. If you want to walk away from your next networking event with at least one genuine connection — the kind that actually leads to referrals, partnerships, and opportunities — it starts before you ever walk through the door.
Your Entrance Sets Everything in Motion
Think about the last event you attended. Did you rush in, immediately scan for the bar or buffet, then plant yourself against the nearest wall? Yeah, we’ve all been there.
The truth is your first 30 seconds in that room communicate more about you than any elevator pitch ever will. And it all starts with something ridiculously simple: pausing.
Before you step into the room, stop a few feet from the doorway and take a genuine breath.
Not one of those shallow chest breaths, but a real, deep breath that grounds you. This isn’t woo-woo stuff, it’s about hitting reset on whatever stress or distraction you brought with you.
Once you’re inside, resist the urge to pull out your phone right away. I know it’s your security blanket. Mine too. But that screen is a literal barrier between you and the people you came here to meet. Instead, stay present. Take a sweeping look around the room and actually see the people there—not as potential business transactions, but as humans having conversations.
Body Language Speaks Before You Do
Here’s something most people don’t realize: confidence isn’t about feeling confident. It’s about choosing confident behavior even when you don’t feel confident.
Roll your shoulders back and stand up tall.
Not in an awkward, chest-puffed-out way, but like someone who belongs in the room. Because you do belong there. Slouching and making yourself smaller sends a signal—to others and to yourself—that you’re not sure you should be taking up space.
Your eye contact matters too. No darting glances or staring at the floor. A calm, sweeping gaze around the room says, “I’m here, I’m present, and I’m open to connection.” It’s the difference between looking like you’re hunting for an exit strategy and looking like someone worth approaching.
Know Why You’re There (Besides the Free Appetizers)
Here’s the real game-changer: decide on your objective before you arrive.
Not “network.” Not “make connections.” Those are too vague. Get specific. Is it to have one meaningful conversation with someone in your target industry? To reconnect with three people that you haven’t seen in six months. To learn about a specific challenge that others are facing.
When you have a clear purpose, you show up differently. You’re not aimlessly wandering out of obligation or because your calendar told you to be there. You’re on a mission, and that intention is magnetic.
The Real Goal: Quality Over Quantity
Stop trying to “work the room” and collect as many contacts as possible. That’s exhausting and ineffective. Instead, focus on creating one genuine connection per event.
One person you have a real conversation with. One person whose challenge you understand. One person who remembers you not because of what you do, but because of how you made them feel seen and heard. Stop trying to “work the room.” It’s exhausting and ineffective. Focus instead on creating one genuine connection per event — one person whose challenge you understood, one person who felt seen and heard.
That person is exponentially more likely to refer business to you, collaborate with you, or open doors for you than the 20 people whose business cards are now crumpled at the bottom of your bag.
How to Follow Up and Actually Stay in Touch
This is where most networking dies. You had a good conversation — and then nothing.
Within 24 hours, send a short, specific message. Not “Great meeting you!” but something that references what you actually talked about: “Enjoyed our conversation about the challenges you’re navigating with your team. I came across something that might be relevant — happy to share if useful.”
That specificity is what separates a forgettable contact from a relationship worth having.
Bottom Line
Networking isn’t about being the most outgoing person in the room or having the best pitch. It’s about showing up intentionally, being present, and creating space for real human connection.
So, at your next event: pause before entering, put your phone away, stand tall, make genuine eye contact, and know exactly why you’re there.
Do that, and you won’t just make a connection. You’ll make one that matters.
If referrals are important to your business, join my friend and colleague Bill Poole and me on March 18th for the Referral Clarity Workshop. https://www.convergo.co/referral-clarity-workshop/.
John Gies is a business coach and consultant with 40+ years of experience in sales leadership and professional services. As founder of Resonant Business Solutions, he works with firms in the $1M–$5M range who are ready to grow through better strategies and relationships, not harder tactics. Connect with him on LinkedIn.
